GO Magazine

Back to one

Only one week that Iýve been back from my second HOMELAND CHILE and already I got my drive back again.

Not that thatýs really special or anything, I just feel happy about that.

The last two weeks Iýve been going up and down Chile to say goodbye to my family, spend the time with them and my new friends.

There was ONE thing that kept me worrying, and that was WAR. That moment that I heard the news I got in a DARK isolation, I know it wasn’t only me that felt this. When I heard it I directly wrote down my feelings. When I get older maybe I will bring it out on CD, ha-ha, with my own voice. I just can’t get how this could happen. People ALL over this world Protested to not make this WAR but LOVE and still they didn’t hear this message. I think in that case you are or DEAF or just really IGNORANT. This WAR isn’t only because of they want to get REVANGE, but because it’s the Political RIGHT thing to do and to get POWER.

Anyway, this was something that didn’t come out of an unexpected corner, so mentally I was prepared. The thing that made it difficult to go back were my grandmothers. WHAT? Yes, my grandmothers. Now I really experienced how it is to have them. They can worry so much, I love them for it, that’s how they are, but meanwhile I got worried as well and saw flashes of American Airplane Delta crashing caused by an attack. My whole family asked me to stay, that made it even more difficult. But it didn’t make any difference, how hard they tried and how much I thought of staying. I knew I had and most of all wanted to go back to Amsterdam. Not only THE HORRIFYING TAX BILLS that were waiting, but also my mother, father, friends, the records I want to play,/buy/make, a house I want to find (any suggestions are welcome – 3 room-apartment centre Amsterdam), my soul mate. Enough reasons to go back.

So no change of plans, there I went back to Holland. I noticed the difference immediately when I got in the plane to Atlanta where I had to wait for 12 hours. For 10 min. of internet I had to pay 5 dollars, for that price I could spend 10 hours on internet in Chile. To leave my luggage somewhere, so that I could leave the airport I had to pay 15 dollars, for that money I could eat 7 days.

The way back took me 34 hours, but the feeling I got of coming back felt like HOME, this feeling got stronger when I went to the party of MEUBELSTUKKEN, RAUW. I only went there for half an hour. The atmosphere and the people, that feeling, that reminded me what I like of Amsterdam parties. Intimacy with a lot of openness. That’s FREEDOM.

Something you can’t find everywhere, certainly not now in these times, I noticed when I talked with people in Chile or Argentina, that they didn’t feel free, they had to do what made money. I thought people where happy and could do anything they like, but I was wrong.

The most precious thing in Chile where my family, friends, the culture, landscapes, that and the music. I really learned from them, they threw the biggest mirror in my face, just to take a real good look at myself, just by being themselves I know now, why I behave in certain situations they way I do, they way my parents do. If I never went there, I would never know, not even the FAMILYSECRETS they kept from me my WHOLE LIFE ;-)